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Year XVI -Issue 06 - 2000

 

 

 

 

 

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Which was the moment when you decided to leave the community?

Even with some doubts I'd already understood that I was not in a balanced situation but in a real hell where I felt my individuality mined. I didn't have anymore any certainty about a practise or spiritual realization; I was at his mercy at all. Once left I went on search of other runaways.

What the effect of these meetings?

What I found confirmed me in my way, the panorama was dismal. Some end in psychoanalysis in order to find themselves again...other give me tales and version of their history that ended clearing up my ideas.

Resuming a normal life in society, was it hard?

At the beginning it was tremendous, I must start all over again, step-by-step I succeed in resuming an autonomous and dignified life by recovering my decisional power and my intelligence. Today I would like so much to do something to unmask certain false illusions. That's why I' offering you my experience notwithstanding it opens again old wounds.

How did the master succeed in managing power in a so totalising way?

Surely not in a democratic way! In good faith or bad faith, this kind of relationships there's no individual respect. The circumstances I lived the master was a despot, a dictator disguised as a sage. There was in him the ability to give its acknowledgment in a suggestive and theatrical way.

What do you mean?

In front of him you did not exist, you were nothingness, even once I heard him saying that he could order life and death of his pupils for the good of the community. What hurts me deeply still today is that so many persons that grow in the sidelines end identifying in his actions and are prompt to replace him in the followers' mental control!

We thank you for your touching witness. I hope you find on you way someone that has in his eyes the goodness of the real wisdom.

Luisa Miccoli