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Which
was the moment when you decided to leave the community?
Even with some doubts
I'd already understood that I was not in a balanced situation but in
a real hell where I felt my individuality mined. I didn't have anymore
any certainty about a practise or spiritual realization; I was at his
mercy at all. Once left I went on search of other runaways.
What
the effect of these meetings?
What I found confirmed
me in my way, the panorama was dismal. Some end in psychoanalysis in
order to find themselves again...other give me tales and version of
their history that ended clearing up my ideas.
Resuming
a normal life in society, was it hard?
At the beginning it
was tremendous, I must start all over again, step-by-step I succeed
in resuming an autonomous and dignified life by recovering my decisional
power and my intelligence. Today I would like so much to do something
to unmask certain false illusions. That's why I' offering you my experience
notwithstanding it opens again old wounds.
How
did the master succeed in managing power in a so totalising way?
Surely not in a democratic
way! In good faith or bad faith, this kind of relationships there's
no individual respect. The circumstances I lived the master was a despot,
a dictator disguised as a sage. There was in him the ability to give
its acknowledgment in a suggestive and theatrical way.
What
do you mean?
In front of him you
did not exist, you were nothingness, even once I heard him saying that
he could order life and death of his pupils for the good of the community.
What hurts me deeply still today is that so many persons that grow in
the sidelines end identifying in his actions and are prompt to replace
him in the followers' mental control!
We
thank you for your touching witness. I hope you find on you way someone
that has in his eyes the goodness of the real wisdom.
Luisa Miccoli
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